I had a dream last night in which I was to perform a deliverance for a sick member of a family that I believe to be not practicing Catholics. The father approached me and asked if I could perform deliverance for his daughter, who was bedridden. He believed that she was not only sick but also under demonic possession. When I arrived at their home, I saw his daughter lying in bed, growing thin, with dark spots on both her arms. It was as if she had been drained of all her energy that even opening her eyes seemed like a painstaking task. In my mind, I knew I wasn't allowed to perform deliverance prayers outside of my family. But considering the urgency, I decided to proceed.
I took out my transparent pouch where I kept my sacramentals: a crucifix, holy and exorcised water, holy and exorcised oil, holy and exorcised salt, and the Deliverance Handbook. When I was about to begin, I couldn’t find that particular prayer that must be recited before every deliverance session. I shuffled through the pages of the handbook, but it wasn’t there. Then, the dream ended.
Today’s Gospel, according to Mark 6:17-29, narrates the martyrdom of Saint John the Baptist (whose memorial is also today). It reminded me that ego should never be above faith. Reflecting on my dream, I realized that, although I knew it was against the guidance of our exorcist priests to perform deliverance for those outside my family, I still I made an attempt but failed. My ego took over because I felt elated that someone saw me as capable of such a task, as if I possessed the power to liberate people from their spiritual struggles.
Perhaps this is a consequence of my impulsive decision to become a priest that at the moment I was given the opportunity, however, my tail was tucked between my legs. When I first learned about the deliverance prayers prescribed for laypeople, I wondered if I could use them for anyone. I had high hopes of helping others free themselves from evil's clutches. But upon learning that I couldn’t perform these prayers outside of my family and property, I was disappointed. It was a downer.
The martyrdom of Saint John the Baptist reminds me that true faith isn’t afraid to speak the truth, and that truth hit me hard. I may have had good intentions, but I couldn’t help thinking that I might gain popularity as someone with a healing ability. Thus, I believe the dream I had last night might be of the devil’s work, trying to show the greatness one can achieve, so great that one can be blinded by the reality that it’s all false praise. This was reflected in yesterday’s Gospel, which I also wrote about, titled "SINNER CAN BE SAINTS TOO."
In conclusion, we should deny ourselves worldly pleasures and focus instead on following our Savior, Jesus Christ. The cross will be heavy, the road won't be easy, the passage is narrow, and death awaits us.
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